Fashion, Food, Fun And Dating

The Ultimate #Corona Cuddle Slut…

But shhhh…. don’t tell Dr. Fauci or that Lady with the scarves, Bill “Robot” Gates or Mayor ” Snitch” Garcetti….

Or the media because they”ll call you a conspiracy theorist. If you say it 3 times … you’ll start to believe it.

Forget about the peer reviewed research, forget about my Masters degree from UCLA, forget about my diploma signed by Arnold Swartznegger, and oh yes let’s forget about the almost 25 years I’ve spent in healthcare! It’s now obsolete!

That’s not what big brother is saying. It’s not what big brother believes. There’s a “NEW” program going on. And “touch” is dangerous!

Much like some episode in Star Trek or The Twilight Zone, if you touch a human being in the the time COVID … you’ll probably start melting like the witch in The Wizard Of Oz when she comes in contact with water…

They said the same thing during the AIDS and the HIV crisis.

I really didn’t care… I still remember holding the hand of my one patient who was in his late 40’s. I was a newbie nurse only 24 years old.

I sat and held his hand while draped in my PPE regalia ( more for his protection because he was immune compromised).

I listened as he confessed sleeping with over 50 women ( it’s not just a gay disease).

He confessed how he had remorse and felt tremendous guilt and shame over his seductive lifestyle, as if I was his priest in a confessional absolving him of his sins.

He was dying but still had a sense of humor and would tease me and call me “hairy bear” and said that’s what my name meant in Latin.

In a previous blog I was asked about Corona Cuddle Buddies ….

Many of my friends have gotten them. Some have been a quick fling. A sweet embrace. Others have been smelly nightmares.

My cuddle buddy was not expected, but so ever delightful.

His name is Frayser. He’s a 3 year old grey pit bull. He’s the most amazing cuddle buddy I’ve had since Love in the time of Corona started.

I watched him and his sister Razzberry ( German Shepard) for a weekend. I don’t think they understood what social distancing was. Or masks. Or whatever else propaganda is going on. I really didn’t know how to communicate communism to dogs??

Frayser is an X-Treme sports kinda dog. He climbs super tall mountains in the desert. Chases rabbits. Body surfs in Mexican waters. And goes long for a football while doing laps in a pool.

He’s social. He likes to stop and sniff playful dog’s asses, Touch noses with the poodles behind fences, and give a encouraging lick to the geriatric dog who could barely belt out a woof to greet him.

You tell him to sit 3 times, he’ll eventually do it. He’ll drool if you hold up a biscuit. But best of all he LOVES to cuddle!

He’ll curl up next to me to me on the couch to watch terrible shows like 90 day Fiancé, Whichever house wife of the month show on Bravo and oh yes Tiger King.

Best of all, when it’s time to go to bed, I hop in snuggle up, and suddenly Frayser jumps on the bed next to me. He stands rustles around to find his sweet spot. Then he lays his head on the pillow next to me. He squirms closer to my body as I crack up laughing. He then licks my cheek as if he was saying good night.

Yes, I’m a little grossed out cuz he smelled a dogs ass earlier that day … but I push that out of my head and close my eyes.

I wake to find myself at the edge of the bed and Frayser monopolizing most of the full mattress property. I push his 80 pound body more to his side. Again he wakes to change positions putting his ass next to my head.

In the morning Razzberry aka alarm clock nudges my nose with her snout. It’s 630 am.

Frayser gently wakes and licks my face good morning. I laugh.

He jumps on me, and then over out of bed to his sister wishing her a good morning.

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