The Dark Side Of Being Single: The Friend Zone!
Dear Notoriouslysinglegirl ,
My worst nightmare has happened: I’ve been put in the FRIEND zone!
We met on Tinder. Exchanged a few fun flirtatious messages. Found out we had friends in common. Continued to text. Then we had dinner. It was fun. The date made me feel like I was transported back to high school. He was attentive, handsome with a sly sense of humor. He walked me back to my car. And then we ….. Hugged!
And a text from him followed: “I’d like to Hang Out again!
Ugh! Why did this happen?
In The Friend Zone
It’s seems like you are putting yourself in the Friend Zone. Did he utter the words: Let’s Be friends?
No. He asked to Hang Out.
Stop swinging from the chandelier and get back down to earth.
Yes. The Internet has destroyed dating. Apps like Tinder and Bumble have made dating into a Hook Up Culture: where PDA and sex are expected outcomes.
No one really likes to hang out, and get to know each other anymore. It’s fast. And often furious with a couple of dates, a few sleepovers and then it’s on to the next one.
With no time to really know what a person’s story is all about. Or what they are going through. And let’s forget about connecting on a deeper level.
Friend zones and hangs outs are safe. They give people time to test the waters. To learn about each other. And of course build a genuine friendship paving the way to a healthy love connection.
The relationship will probably last longer than a couple of months. He might be the one, or not.
After all, you did get a Hug. It’s a positive, better than a hand shake!
Many dating experts claim the Friend Zone is the penalty box of dating. I like to see it as a safe space. Or a sort of test kitchen for both you.
I asked a friend about this issue and he said: oh that guy is probably seeing her a sort of “Madonna” not the like a virgin kind, but the future mother of his children. She is a prize!
If a man is interested he’ll let you know. Maybe it will take him awhile. Maybe he has bigger issues not related to you he has to deal with. Or maybe he needs therapy.
My advice to you is: have fun, keep an open mind and keep the dating dating other people. Like Beyoncé says: If he likes it he’ll put a ring on it!
If he commits great! If he doesn’t: well then it’s Bye Felicia!
If you have a dating question for Notoriouslysinglegirl please email: firstname.lastname@example.org