Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.Lao Tzu
It’s true. In May 2021 I tried to reload the Bumble app on my old phone and it wouldn’t load.
I took it as a “sign” that it was time to detox from online dating. So, today I’m about 3 months sober from having dating apps on my phone . Tinder booted me in 2020 and now I really don’t care to reload bumble onto my new phone.
Internet dating has been fun but exhausting!
I’ve been on internet dating sites and app dating since the early 2000’s. The first site I ever joined was called “Match” with a match stick for its logo.
In the beginning, I was just dating for fun. The dates were interesting. Exploring new restaurants. Sharing cocktails in interesting locations.
Sometimes it was a concert. Sometimes it was just a walk. Sometimes the date never happened.
But as the dating world evolved with smartphones, dating apps and porn, things started to change.
Yes, it’s true, it’s expensive to take a total stranger to dinner these days. Not to mention time consuming. A standard cocktail costs about $15.00. I get it!
I’ve always considered myself as a sort of anthropologist. I love to study people in different cultures. And in my online dating of 20 years I’ve learned a lot about MEN and of course myself.
But the increased accessibility to porn has destroyed online dating. It’s not about really getting to know a person anymore and perhaps have a long term relationship with them. It’s about hooking up and having sex.
Don’t get me wrong. That’s great for short term gratification. But there’s usually no long term.
I’ve encountered many porn addicted men and their brains function differently. (I’ll probably write another blog and include my research and my podcast episode)
I can’t tell you what a sense of freedom I felt having no apps on my phone. No more swiping. No more weird messages. No more. No more.
This doesn’t mean I’ve stopped dating.
Quite the contrary. It’s made me more open to meeting men in the real world.
It’s also made me more content with my life and how I love it!!!
To be continued….
Do you need dating advice, coaching or have questions ?
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org