I was recently speaking to a single male. He seemed a bit depressed and not enjoying the single life. Although, from speaking to him it seems like he has a great life: works, has hobbies, and is moderately social. However, he did mention that his married friends thought that there was something wrong with him because he was “Single!”
Newsflash to all married people: Being single is not a disease but for many it is a personal choice!
I remember when a friend of mine got married and had a child. We were friends for a few years through grad school. I enjoyed hearing her stories and spending time with her, however, she no longer enjoyed hearing mine. Our interactions became less frequent, and I started to notice she never invited me to her child’s birthday parties. I also noticed that she would refer to my life as the “single life” with a contorted look on her face. She treated me differently as if I was suffering some kind of plague or evil curse bestowed upon me by some wicked queen.
At first I was upset not to be invited to her child’s birthday parties. I love kids! I’ve worked with them for over eighteen years. But then I thought about all the money I was saving and all the great shoes and purses I could buy! She actually was doing me a favor by not inviting me. Let’s see: I didn’t have to eat cheap Costco cake, listen to children competing over a defunct piñata, and of course people asking me why I was still “single!”
A few years ago, I tired to reconnect with an old high school classmate. We were trying to make plans to meet until she left me a message: “ I don’t know what type of schedule you single people have?” I was a bit confused as to what she actually meant by that, and decided to abort the mission to reconnect.
The single person’s schedule: we really don’t have one! We are fortunate to: Do what we want, eat when we want, and have cocktails!
Whenever I have found myself around married people, they always talk about the most peculiar things: their mates leaving shards of shaven hair in the sink, underwear on the floor, and their birthing stories. The birthing stories are always weird! The women talk about how big they got during pregnancy, morning sickness, how long they were in labor and the pain. Then they start to compete with each other on who had more pain and who spent the most time in labor. It’s true, during these types of conversation I have nothing to offer: I’ve never been in labor and my uterus is tight!
I have few married friends. The reason being is that married people don’t get me. I don’t think married be get single people in general. Most of my married friends I use to hang out with would do strange things when we were out together: they would pretend they were single. They would get drastically drunk, and try to “flirt” with other single people. It was embarrassing! I especially loved it when they would tell me stories of their single days. And the best part was always when they would try to give me tips!
Newsflash: being single and dating today is very different than being single 2 years ago, 5 years ago, and even 10 and 20 years ago! Things change, humanity evolves, and then there is the internet! Nothing is the same, so if you were not single with in the past 2-5 please do not give advice.
There are various reasons as to why people are single: choice, financial, a matter of circumstance and my favorite “FEAR!” Personally, I believe there is someone for everyone. We as human beings are meant to find a mate.
But, that takes time. Some people rush into marriage because everyone one is doing it and they have to keep up with “The Jones’s.” I don’t know who the Jones’s are, nor do I care. But what I think is important is getting to know yourself. Being happy with yourself and understanding what it is that you want and need.
Married people don’t get this. And that’s OK, they don’t have to. Maybe they never got a chance to understand themselves and therefore constantly try and work out their drama with their mates.
My advice to my single male counterpart was just to be happy with him self, and get rid of his married friends! Enjoy being able to have many hobbies, do what you want when you want, and of course have cocktails! The married people don’t get it, and I don’t think that they ever will! Let them eat bad Costco cake!