Here is a “True Life” story from my new section of notoriouslysinglegirl titled: ” Tales From The Dark Side Of Being Single.” It’s not always fun and games!
I met a colleague today at a clinic somewhere in East Los Angeles that happened to be next to a Serbian Cemetery that had what looked like nine hundred and ninety nine headstones. I never knew we had that many Serb’s in Los Angeles but you learn something new everyday in this city! Even though I’ve lived here all my life.
My colleague took pity on me, so he let me off work early. On my way to lunch I got lost in the ghetto, and ended up in downtown Los Angeles where I treated myself to a frou frou lunch at Bodega Louie. I sat in the bar area where I could pretend I was in a French café looking out at the traffic through the window while also being entertained by a homeless man moonwalking on the sidewalk.
And yes, I became one of those miserably annoying people who talk on their phones at lunchtime. My new motto is “When in Bottega Louie, do as the Bottega Louians do!”
A Latino gentleman in his mid fifties wearing a suit was sitting at the bar across from me having a glass of red wine, followed by a scotch. He kept looking over at me. I thought he was annoyed with my conversation. Due to my new motto, I started to speak louder. After I terminated my conversation, I noticed the Latino gentleman searching for an open door to speak to me: eye contact, a smile, and my middle finger, which I gave him none of!
Suddenly I heard him say, “I remember you! I’ve seen you before?”
“I don’t think so” I responded. But then made my obsessive nature kicked in: Had I seen him before? Did I work for him? Or stick a catheter up his urethra?”
Then he said “Yes, I’ve seen you here. I remember your legs! Who could forget them?”
Thankfully, the waiter intervened and brought me my order of eggplant parm, French onion soup and Bottega Louie tap water in a pretty bottle.
But the Latino suit man kept talking , probably due to his liquid courage:”I come here all the time. I do business in Century City, but sometimes I come down to check on my offices here in downtown Los Angeles!” he arrogantly mentioned as both his penis and ego probably began to swell simultaneously!
“Oh” I said as I blew into my hot French onion soup not caring and definitely not impressed with what the man had to say.
For the next few minutes I busied myself with Facebook, still blowing into my scalding soup. Due to being ignored he walked back over to the bar, and seemed to have lost interest in my legs.
Suddenly the Latino suit man paid his bill, and came over to my table once again.
“Those legs are unforgettable! ” he said pointing to my legs!
I gave him a weird look as my face began to contort in an epileptic smile!
“What? It’s a compliment!” he said walking away!
“Yes,” I replied. “I’m sure your wife would appreciate it too!!”
At least it made the waiter laugh!!