L-O-V-E : It’s the 2024 Resolution

By notoriouslysinglegirl, January 7, 2024

We loved with a love that was more than love

Edgar Allen Poe

A few days before Christmas, I matched with a guy on bumble who “claimed” he was making his 2024 resolution about LOVE. He was wanting to find a TRUE relationship. His stats were pretty remarkable: tall, handsome, educated, smart.

However, his profile pictures told a different story. In many of the pictures I intuitively was picking up that this guy was sad, lonely and a bit dark.

We exchanged numbers. He started texting. Before I knew it, I was sucked into a texting relationship with a total stranger.

We shared tales of our Christmas family stories. Pictures of foods we were eating. He sent me pictures of himself putting together toys for his niece, videos of himself playing guitar and playing piano.

I then sent him a video of me making aperol spritzes with a martini shaker.

“Oh, I must tell you I don’t really drink but I do THC. But I’m planning to go sober for 100 days starting in January.” He blurped in a text.

THC is a deal breaker for me. But I still continued our Christmas texting relationship. My other option was to finish watching season 6 of The Crown on Netflix, but instead I decided to see where my “textationship” would take me.

On a Christmas Day walk to the Silver Lake Reservoir, I sent my “text boyfriend “ pictures of the reservoir, to which he replied “ I don’t know LA too well, I grew up in the OC.” This made me slightly cringe. I once lived in the OC and I’m not a big fan. This textationship was so far working well in text but in the real world, it was looking to be quite difficult.

As I continued my walk through the reservoir, I saw a child dressed in a fighter pilot outfit riding his bike with his mother. I quickly went to my text boyfriend’s Bumble profile. His first picture was him in a “fighter pilot” suit saluting who ever was taking the picture.

“Are you a fighter pilot” I asked.

“No, that’s a Halloween costume” he replied .

I’m a practitioner of synchromysticism. The universe was sending me a comedic red flag.

The interpretation: this guy was still a kid in some way. Sure sure, I love a child at heart but I was curious to see if this was true. No sooner did I have the “thought,” my text boyfriend decided to send me a video of him racing his 8 year old niece on her scooter… the one that he had put together. In the video he was laughing like a mad man while the kid is screaming “hey you cheated!”

My thought: if he cheats with his 8 year old niece, what will he do with me? He should have just let her win. He’s a grown man. She’s a child. The stakes were definitely unfair.

The textationship was hitting a massive downward spiral. Christmas was over. A breakup was inevitable.

He texted “Do you come out to the OC?”

I replied “Nope.”

“I really want to meet you in person “ he texted back.

I was on the fence about meeting. I started to feel suffocated. We lived an hour and 25 minutes away from each other. He expected ME to do all the commuting. Well, that’s what it seemed like.

He then asked if I had NYE plans. I said “YES, I’m booked”

I then noticed that his profile was deleted from my Bumble app. The text messages stopped.

And just like that… he ghosted me. Or maybe I should say it was “mutual” ghosting.

The 2024 LOVE Resolution

The dating apps have dedicated the first Sunday of every year as “the best” time to find LOVE!

It’s kind of an oxymoron. It’s really an advertising campaign for dating apps. It’s gaslighting at it’s finest.

Dating apps have destroyed human connection. They’ve destroyed dating and courtship. They’ve destroyed real connections.

Just with a swipe, you can delete anyone from your life.

We truly are living in a simulated reality. One where humans are easily disposable.