Martinis Should Always be Shaken

By notoriouslysinglegirl, December 21, 2023

I prefer my martini shaken not stirred

James Bond

It’s the famous quote from all the James Bond movies: “I prefer my martinis shaken not stirred.”

It’s said that Ian Fleming, James Bond’s creator, found a “shaken” martini with ice quite enjoyable, And that’s why, the shaken martini, became his protagonists favorite cocktail of choice.

I love a good cocktail. I love a good martini. When I order a $15.00 libation, I expect it to be made in front of me. Freshly shaken with ice, sweetly poured and beautifully garnished.

However, as I excitedly ordered a cosmos bianco fez, which the menu at KiKi’s in La Quinta California, boasted as being “a glamorous cosmopolitan on the Italian Rivera,” what I actually got was something I probably wouldn’t even be able to find in the slums of Italy.

When I saw the bartender pull out a carafe of an opaque liquid from under the bar, I literally winced. As I watched him pour the liquid into a miniature old school champagne glass I’m like “what the hell is he doing?”

As he finished the pour, he excitedly threw in what looked like a dead dried up flower. He then added “ It’s a chrysanthemum. You can eat it but be careful, it can make you “wired!”

I’ve been to the Italian Riviera. I’ve had cocktails in the Italian Rivera. This cocktail with the dried up dead flower was nothing I would find anywhere in the Italian Rivera or Italy for that matter. The cosmo bianco fez was lukewarm and I’m sure it would make James Bond gag. The first sip felt a little bit like I was drinking a kerosene type of liquid. Although it did get better after the first sip.

Next I started with a Cesar salad and Arancini ball.

The arancini ball was way over fried as well as overpriced for $4 a ball. It was teeny tiny and almost less than one bite. The Cesar salad was just “basic” and something you could probably make at home. I’m also not a big fan of a Cesar salad made with “white” anchovies, but that’s just my preference.

As I sat at the bar waiting for someone to take my pasta order, I said hello to a guy who was sitting next to me. He then gave me a Joey Trebiani “How you doin?” greeting. I quickly found out he was the manager. An older woman with a cowboy hat came to chat up the “Joey Trebiani” manager and I quickly found out that there are five owners involved in Kiki’s.

Well, that all made sense. The place seemed like a mishmash of too many ideas coming from too many different people. I mean the art on the wall says it all. The fake olive trees personally were a turn off but I did like the disco ball in the center of the restaurant as well as the Felliniesque movie playing on silent in the bar corner.

As I ordered my rigatoni bolognase, another gentleman sat beside me and ordered a scotch straight up. The gentleman looked familiar. I’d seen him somewhere. And then I remembered exactly where: he was the ice cream dude!

A year or so ago I bought some ice cream from a stand in the paseo. The dude who sold the ice cream was tall and rather handsome . I remember talking him up and perhaps he picked up my “vibe” when suddenly started sputtering “My Wife, my wife” as if he was having a seizure of some sort and continued to tell me his ice cream origin story my wife and I started making the ice cream during Covid and then we branded it together,” he then introduced me to his wife.

But here he was with “no wife” and no wedding ring, meeting his boys for some scotch and idle conversation.

I turned to read my book 1984 by George Orwell, and then the bolognese rigatoni made their debut.

The bolognese was ok. The rigatoni a bit over cooked with not enough sauce. At best I would give this dish a 3/10 stars.

I paid the check and grabbed my copy of 1984 off the bar. As I turned to leave, I heard the ice cream dude say “Are you really reading 1984?”

“Yes, I’m really reading reading 1984.” I replied.

“You know ‘Newspeak is REAL! We are actually living it right now!“ he boasted.

“Yes, it’s true we’re living in a version of 1984.” I stated as I turned to leave.

I turned around and looked him directly in the eye and said “War is peace, Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.And remember’Big Brother’ is always watching.”

“Remember to stay woke” he yelled back at me.

I then rose my left hand and gave him a princess wave good bye.

I’m sure I made both George Orwell and Ian Fleming proud. I can see George clapping as he clamps a burning cigarette in between his teeth. Ian is coughing up the cosmo bianco and asking for a refund. He reminds the bartender that “Martinis should always be served shaken!”