Fashion, Food, Fun And Dating

The DarkSide Of Being Single: The Tinder Dick Pic … A Notoriously Single Girl’s Theory On Why It Happens

I must have been on Tinder for less than eight hours when it happened. I was conversing with a seemingly “nice” Israeli dude. I gave him my personal number and after a few text messages that included: “Hello” “How are you?” “What are you up to?” “Send me a picture!” I replied: “No” and then before I knew it bam! There it was as if it slapped me in the face! A “Dick Pic” followed by a picture of himself at a wedding wearing a suit!

And yes it was circumcised!

“Eeew!”was of course my first words out of my mouth! No, I did not solicit the “DP,” and therefore I was very confused at to why he sent me one.

It was my first one, and I guess I had officially popped my “DP” Tinder cherry.

I didn’t know what to do with the DP or how to respond, so I did what came natural to me, which was diagnose it! Well, I’m a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner and I see lot’s of Penis’s. It’s my job to diagnose them, and make sure everything is healthy and normal when I am performing physical exams. I’ve seen all kinds: small, medium, large extra large, phimosed, Micro, Macro, elephant shaped, and two headed! You name it, I’ve seen it!

I gave him my consult: “Too veiny” with a diagnosis of tortuous veins and a referral for a urologist ASAP.

He then responded: “Your Mom!”

As I sent the picture off to many of my friends, I found out that this “DP”practice is common! I just couldn’t understand why someone would send out a picture of their private parts to a stranger. Like a good Nurse Practitioner, I started to do some research as to why certain men feel so inclined to send out an unsolicited picture of their phallus.

To my surprise there were several articles published on the subject.

The reasons on why this happens varied: It can be seen as a display of dominance( that’s a very caveman “Land Of The Lost” reason). It’s a form of foreplay, and some articles stated that men tend to feel disconnected from their penis’s and do not see it as part of their body, which they then feel is ok to send out a picture.

Personally, none of these theories satisfied me, so I decided to come up with my own theory:

At the age of three to six years old Freud states that human boys enter the phallic stage where the genitalia is considered an erogenous zone. Hence, masturbation is quite common at this age and normal.

I often get parents asking me about masturbation, and why their four year old is constantly doing it! There is a question on the Pediatric Nurse Practitioner state exam about how to counsel a parent about it. The answer is that you are suppose to counsel your parents and let them know that masturbation is normal, but perhaps the parent needs to educate the child to do it in private, and not in front of grandma!

Here is where I have developed my theory: The men who most commonly send out pictures of their phallus were probably harshly reprimanded during masturbation, and perhaps even smacked with a wooden spoon. And now feel so disconnected from their penis that they must display it in true DP fashion when ever they can! That explains the dominance part!

I’m not sure what happened to the Israeli dude that sent me the DP, or if he ever went to the urologist! Nor have I had to give out another free consult for other non solicited “DP’s.”And my “Mom” did not find it funny!


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