How to Be A Better Man

By notoriouslysinglegirl, June 9, 2025

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth.

Deal with it.

-George Carlin

Betheny Frankel is the kween of all things going viral on TikTok: chicken salad, the super model snack, and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Runway.

Will her latest TikTok, “should I date a hot Italian model who is 20 years younger than me” be the next viral trend?

Dating Younger

“Don’t you usually date younger?” A friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years uttered this phrase when the topic of conversation turned to dating.

Yes, I’ve dated younger. The youngest man I’ve dated was 10 years younger than me. He pursued me. He pursued me hard. He left roses on my doorstep daily until I accepted an invitation to have coffee with him. And then he found out I was 10 years older than he was and which made him literally fall off his chair at The Coffee Bean spilling his latte.

Age did not stop him from wanting to date me.

He was 25. I was 35. That was a sweet romance where I dated the youngest man in my dating history.

Does Age Really Matter

Personally, it’s not a man’s biological age that matters but their emotional maturity age that should matter. For example, you can be dating a 50 year old man who has the emotional maturity of a 9 year old boy trying to break free from his traumatic piranasi prison. This boy part will in fact wreak havoc on the relationship. All you need to do is watch “couples therapy” on Showtime specifically the episode with Boris and his psychotherapist wife to understand this concept.

This past weekend, I invited several people to a roller derby event. A few influencers, some writers, and a young entrepreneur. Everyone except the young entrepreneur flaked.

The Spontaneous Date

The young entrepreneur brought his neighbor along who was dating his mother. It seemed like we were on a double date of some sort. The young entrepreneur then informed me we were in fact on a “date.”

The young entrepreneur is 33 years old. Tall, handsome and well educated. He’s well established and has a fun personality. I met him several months ago at a networking event. He’s been liking all my IG stories and sliding into my DMs ever since.

At 52 years old, I was open to this spontaneous date. I took it with a grain of salt and since I deleted dating apps over a year ago I just decided to live in the moment and enjoy the experience.

Of course there’s always a synchronicity

The funny thing was, that the young entrepreneur had taken one of the influencers I invited to the event, to StageCoach on a pass costing $1000.00. He told me he was trying to date her but never told her it was a “date.” So, like most influencers do, she took the free pass and tagged him on her IG.

And now here he was with me on a spontaneous date of sorts.

In between the roller derby time outs, the young entrepreneur started to do what many men I’ve dated before him did: confess their sins.

This happens. This use to happen a lot. It happened so much that I eventually wrote and performed a one person show called The Nurse and the Hypochondriacs all about men confessing their health care issues on our dates.

The confession always involves some kind of medical issue. So, he tells me he broke his back 8 months ago. Then he tells me he broke it during sex with a flight attendant he met on a random flight to Hawaii.

However, the prequel to the whole narrative was something like he had broken up with a long term girlfriend. She was pregnant and aborted the fetus to spite him. He was crushed and devastated. Then he broke his back having sex with the flight attendant.

As a professional storyteller, demon slayer and exorcist, I could feel the darkness in this guys story and I knew this was not your average date. We were here together for a reason.

I showed the young entrepreneur a passage re: broken backs and their metaphysical meaning from a Louise Hayes passage which had something to do with not having enough support or not feeling supported in life.

“Yes, that’s definitely me” he said as he took a picture of the passage with his phone.

Is Netflix and chill still a thing?

I noticed the young entrepreneur bouncing his right knee vigorously. It could be stemming in order to blow off nervous energy. Or it could have been something else; way too much accumulated sexual anxiety.

During the half time hula girl show, we stepped out to get some food. He bought me a $3 Diet Coke while he chowed down on some Mac and cheese. He then kept asking me to go see a movie later. “Let’s Netflix and chill after this.”

Netflix and chill became super popular during the pandemic. I didn’t realize it was still a thing. I kindly declined since I’ve done a few Netflix and chill dates over my last 25 years of being single and to say the least I know how those dates typically end. That didn’t stop him from asking over and over again. I just zoned out and continued to watch the roller derby girls kick the shit out of each other.

He also dabbled in some “future faking” and talked about taking me on vacations, playing golf together and he even mentioned he wanted two kids.

Ouf, if I only had ten dollars for every future faker I’ve dated in the last 25 years I’d be a millionaire.

At the end of the evening, the young entrepreneur picked up my chair and walked me to my car. He then asked me to brunch at his country club the next day. I was busy with things to do. I had a feeling he was going to flake but I accepted his offer anyway. And of course the next day he totally flaked.

And of course I called him out on his bullshit.

This was no ordinary date

I later realized this was no ordinary date but an egregore of sorts that’s been following me around since I was about 12 yrs old.

What’s an egregore ?

In Greek the term egregore means wakeful or watcher. Metaphysicians believe that egregores are thought forms created from the collective unconscious. Buddhists call egregores tulpas which are thought forms that can gain vitality for a specific purpose.

In essence, egregores and tulpas are like demons or ghosts that can possess humans.

In the young entrepreneur, the tulpas manifested like a certain type of computer program perhaps even an AI where he was using future faking and Netflix and chill as a dating script. And perhaps he’s deeply unconscious living under some kind of a trance.

The Muslim Matchmakers Know what’s up

In the show Muslim Matchmakers on Hulu, the matchmakers follow up with both parties after every date. What I loved about this show is how the matchmakers cleared up various grey areas that might have occurred on the dates. I especially loved how they called out specific men for future faking and being rude to the females. The guys really didn’t know what to say, in fact they looked like they had been slapped in the face and woken up from some type of trance.

The demonslayer makes her move

I followed the matchmakers lead and got an analysis of my date with the entrepreneur and sent it to him. After all, he did mention that he would like to get married and have a family someday. I do believe he really wants this however his dark side keeps getting in the way and fucking up his game. I also told him I’m happy to help him find his divine feminine and keep our relationship business casual.

He replied with a “Thank you. I have lots of work to do.”

We need better men!

That’s great. But knowing you have to do work and actually doing “the work” are two different things.

TBC