Why A Grown Ass Man Fell Head Over Heals For A “Con Mum.”

By notoriouslysinglegirl, April 2, 2025

I’ve always loved movies about con men. I think con men are as American as apple pie.

-Bill Paxton

“Con Mum,” Netflix’s latest documentary film about a long lost mother who “con’s” her own biological son has me saying “WTF!” It’s a twisted tale that begins with the true story of a “top” pastry chef named “Graham,” who’s literally created a “magical” life for himself after growing up with an alcoholic father. He’s got it all: a thriving career, a beautiful girlfriend and a baby on the way.

Allegedly, Graham’s mother disappeared after he was born. At least that’s what his father told him. And one day, he starts searching for his “mum” but gives up after coming up empty.

Spoiler alert: the “mum” finds him. He’s ecstatic. She tells him she’s the illegitimate daughter of the Salton of Brunei and of course Graham and his partner believe her.

“Mum” speaks 18 languages. The employees at the fancy hotels she stays at all know her and call her by name. On the outside, “Mum” seems like she’s legit. I mean who wouldn’t want to believe their long lost mother is filthy rich?

But Really WTF

“Mum” also tells Graham she has cancer and only has a short while to live. Why does every “con artist” pick cancer as their disease process of choice. I mean there’s so many other diseases that are much more traumatic but con artist always seem to pick cancer.

Just looking at the “Mum” you can totally tell she doesn’t have cancer. Maybe diabetes, definitely some type of heart disease and I’m sure she’s psychopathic. But She’s definitely not a cancer patient. At least she’s not one in the end stages of cancer.

She’s obese. She’s not emaciated and frail looking like a real cancer patient is. I question if Graham and his partner ever really saw a “real cancer patient?” I’m sure they haven’t.

So, how could a guy like Graham get conned into giving his own mother, the Sulton of Bernais’s illegitimate daughter over one hundred thousand dollars? I mean if she’s loaded, why does she need money? If she’s got no money, then why is she staying at five star hotels eating caviar ?

I mean that’s a question I would have asked right off the bat after exploring the fallacy of her cancer diagnosis.

My Theory

It’s a simple story. I’ve seen it many times before. Graham never had a mother other than his step mom in his life.

His partner probably took the place of his mother providing him with the nurturing and love he so craved. However, things probably started to change for him once his partner became pregnant. He probably started to have a deep existential crisis where he questioned if he could be a good father since his father was an abusive alcoholic.

Then “Mum” magically appears in Graham’s life after sending him a random email. The missing puzzle piece to Graham’s life has been found. It’s strange how quickly Graham was able to bond with a woman he barely knew.

A month after Graham’s son was born, Graham goes to Switzerland with “Mum” leaving his partner alone with a baby for over 3 months. Oh, let’s not forget that Graham’s partner also told him that “Mum” started to be abusive towards her after the baby was born. Did Graham take his partners side? No way Jose!

Why would a grown ass man leave his post partum wife home alone with a newborn and travel to another country with a woman he barely knew? Why would Graham not take the complaints about “Mum” from his partner seriously? What’s going on with Graham?

“Con Mum” is kinda like watching one of those horror movies where you’re screaming at the TV telling the character in the movie not to open the door, but because it’s a movie, the character opens the door and gets murdered.

Obviously, once Graham’s mother comes into the picture, he no longer has use for his partner. His long lost mother is now fulfilling his “Oedipus Complex” the unconscious infatuation he had with his ghost mother has now been made real. Bonus: she’s loaded. And now his partner is playing the role of Graham’s rival who’s usually played by the father.

Graham’s partner then starts to do her own research and uncovers the fact that “Con Mum” is not the Salton of Brunei’s illegitimate daughter. She’s a psychopathic narcissistic con artist who stays at fancy hotels and drinks overpriced champagne and then asks other people to pay for it in exchange for a big payback later. Of course, she never pays anyone back.

It’s an incredibly sad story. One I’ve seen before. Graham had a dream life and loses it all probably because unconsciously he never believed he was worthy. Spoiler: Graham’s partner ends up leaving him taking her son and moving to New Zealand.

Eventually, Graham confronts “Con Mom” and she says something like “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” It’s kinda like that story where a scorpion asks a frog to carry him across the river. The frog hesitates, afraid of being stung but the scorpion argues that if he did so, they would both drown. Considering this, the frog agrees. Midway across the river, the scorpion does sting the frog dooming them both and when the frog asks why he did that, the scorpion simply replies “it’s in my nature.”

Moral of the story

If it looks too good to be true. It probably is. Life is too short to be living it from your subconscious mind unconsciously. Waking up and bringing your unconscious dark side to the surface could keep you from living in a never ending loop. At the very least, it could save you from making a costly error.