Why Does He Only Text On Holidays Part 3 & Other Stuff Going Viral On TikTok #12DaysofChristmas

By notoriouslysinglegirl, January 5, 2025

It’s the “Wirkin” the Walmart Birkin

-Viral trends on TikTok

When the “Black Cat-Golden-retriever” Russian chick on TikTok starts making videos about that guy who only texts on holidays, you know it’s a trend.

Other stuff trending on TikTok: Chad2Dad: Passport Bro married to a Philippino wife, who leaves him after she gets her green card, Drones and grey fog and of course the “Wirkin” the Walmart Birkin bag.

Not Only Me

To be honest, I thought it was only me getting these “holiday” text messages from a guy I once dated. Unfortunately, other females have taken to TikTok to share their stories making the subject matter a viral content trend. And maybe people are just copying content to get more views on TikTok. However when Bethany Frankel ( RHONY) Kween of Tiktok viral trends shares that RHOOC husband Simon Barney sends her a random “Merry Christmas” text every Christmas ( even though she only met him one time), you know it’s a trend.

My Theory of What’s Going On

Sure, some of these TikTok gals claim these guys are “Avoidant.” Avoidant in reference to attachment styles. However, I don’t believe in the attachment theory.

What I think is going on with these types of men is that they are “addicts” and have compulsive behaviors that may be unconscious or they are impulsive and can not control their impulses. They are constantly seeking external validation in order to fill a void they have lurking deep inside of their soul. So, that holiday text fills that void like a drug. It’s a shot of dopamine to the brain. And it’s really not about that person who they are texting. It’s all about their compulsion and how their brain is wired.

For example, Simon Barney is programmed to text Bethany Frankel every Christmas without fail. And maybe he just has a list he goes through and Bethany is on that list. or maybe he secretly likes her and gets a dopamine hit every Christmas when he sends her a text.

In my case, my holiday text guy had several addictions while I was dating him: porn, alcohol, cigarettes, work, work drama, and of course drama with his wife that he lived separately from. Many times, I would just stop seeing him and I was thankful when he wouldn’t contact me for days and even weeks.

One time this guy once sent me 5 pages of his writing and claimed he was writing a book.

Although, it reads more like a manifesto rather than a book.

On these pages there are deep dark confessions. Confessions you would only tell a Deacon who has breathing problems, played by Ralph Fiennes in the movie “The Conclave.” Of course, I question “Why me? Why the hell am I holding this guys manifesto of darkness?”

In the manifesto he starts by telling the reader his name, which leads me to think this manifesto is coming from “the true self” or “the higher self.” It’s coming from a “self” that is imprisoned and in my opinion can not speak freely and express his true self because the “ego” is keeping him tied up in a cave somewhere.

In the manifesto he confesses to being married to a narcissist who is abusive which leads him to work long hours and not go home to his wife and infant son. Instead, he goes to hang out in dive bars and strip clubs.

He paints a picture of a guy with his lap top smoking his cheap cigarettes and drinking overpriced red wine who just wants to be left alone. However, people talk to him. The strippers fill that empty void he’s not getting at home making him feel some kinda way about himself.

In the manifesto he outlines how he left his country at the behest of his parents to go pursue the “American Dream.” He was following the typical hero’s journey that great epic films like Star Wars outline based on the writings of Joseph Campbell. He even makes reference to several films that follow the “Hero’s Journey” mono-myth structure.

At one point, I watched several of the films mentioned in the manifesto. And one particular name, “Emmet Brickowski” had me running to google for answers. I was like “who the hell is Emmet Brickowski?”

When I found out that “Emmet” was a Lego guy from the “The Lego” movie, I just couldn’t stop laughing. One thing about my holiday text guy is that he’s got a quirky sense of humor that he often stifles along with his “true self.”

The Lego movie is about Emmet Brikowski, a Lego guy who ALWAYS follows the rules, is mistakingly identified as the “Special” -an extraordinary being with the keys to saving the world. Emmet gets drafted into a fellowship of strangers who are on a mission to stop an evil tyrant from taking over the world.

Its a great film and is super funny and entertaining. I highly recommend it.

The Object of Art is to Reproduce Art With Intensity

After watching several of these films, I started to send this guy some clues from the movies he referenced in his manifesto anonymously through the mail.

In my first installation I sent him “Emmet” the Lego guy reading a miniature Esquire Lego magazine with “Neo” on the cover. I would say these installations were coming from “The Oracle.” I got the idea from the French film Amelie, where a woman devotes her life to making people happy with a series of quirky creative antics that seem to bring all the characters around her back to life.

So, What’s it all About?

After the Christmas text and binging on TikTok, I decided to send the guy an email expressing how I felt he was just using me for dopamine hits. And I told him I would no longer be responding to his holiday text messages with the next message slated to arrive on 01/01/2025 at 12:01 am.

I never got a response. I never got that text at 12:01am on New Years Eve. That’s actually all ok.

However, I’m still pondering what this “manifesto” is all about?

I mean who am I? Am I the “Virgil” in this guys “DANTE’s Inferno?” Am I the guide who shows him the errors of his ways to set the true self free?

Baby Girl has the answers

I had the opportunity to watch the movie Baby Girl starring Nicole Kidman at the Palm Springs Film Festival a few days ago. Nicole Kidman along with the films director Hallina Rejin gave a live talk after the film.

“It’s not a film about sex. It’s about someone who wants to destroy her life to be born again.” Hallina Rejin explains.

The film opens up with Romy ( Nicole Kidman), a high powered CEO having sex with her playwright husband Jacob ( Antonio Banderas) however she is dissatisfied with her sex life. Romy’s new intern ( Harris Dickinson) propositions her during a meeting, she objects and then gives him kisses.

We see the film entirely through Romy’s perspective as she talks about growing up in a cult, going through EMDR trauma therapy, and the pressures of being a corporate CEO. Romy is so many things in this movie: a mother, a wife, a CEO, a lover and a WOMAN. The film reminded me of “All About My Mother” by Pedro Almodovar, which has similar themes.

I won’t give anymore spoilers. I did enjoy this movie and found it excellent and very well done. There’s true vulnerability exhibited in a variety of forms: nudity, sexuality, and dissociation of personalities from aggressive to child like. It did have me sitting at the edge of my seat wanting to know what was coming next. Hallina, being an actress herself has an excellent grip on screen writing and knows how to keep the audience in suspense. She also follows one of my favorite writing structures: full circle, it ends where it begins.

One of the most brilliant scenes is when Jacob tells Romy that

“I’m going to be who I’m going to be be and I want you to be who you want to be.”

And my inner Virgil tells me that the holiday text guy is much like Romy: He wants to destroy his life in order to be born again: allowing the true self to be free from all the guilt and shame he acquired in his former life exhibiting true ego death so that the hero can be free to live his life.

Applause Applause Applause