Ending the “Ground Hog Day” Phenomenon in Dating Part One
I’ll give you a winter prediction: it’s gonna be cold. It’s gonna be grey. And it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.
-Phil, played by Bill Murray in Ground Hogs Day
There was a 28 yr old woman on TikTok in tears telling her story of how her 50 yr old boyfriend, who had been married for 25 years and divorced for the last 5, started talking about his ex wife’s birthday on their vacation.
“I’m like I don’t care about your ex wife!” She said as she continued to ugly cry.
I’ve been there!
Part of the reason I’m no longer dating on apps is exactly for this reason. The unconscious brainwash that many men have been programmed with from their previous “owners!” I say owners because who else would program a robot?
I guess you can say these “types” of men are NOT humans but NPC’s ( Non Player Characters). NPC’s are not sentient and have no capacity to think for themselves. They are brainwashed through work, media, and their previous owners ie ex wives, girlfriends or baby mamas.
These NPC’s will tend to get triggered and loop into some strange memory. Suddenly, they are no longer in the present moment. They have timetraveled into another dimension in space and time only alive in their subconscious mind.
It’s distressing to watch. I’ve been there countless times. The guy you’re dating is suddenly lost in space somewhere. Lost in a strange memory trigger.
Timetravel Dating
I remember the first time I experienced this. I was dating a guy who I jokingly called a “timetraveler” because he would often get triggered and disappear into “space.” His facial expression would change and it was as if he disassociated into another person. He would then start ranting about his soon to be ex wife ie “owner”.
This phenomenon would suddenly happen if we were at places like his “ex’s” favorite coffee shop. Or if I was talking about some random experiences he would suddenly shift and there he was talking about her. Although, he would even “switch” and bring up some random woman anytime I was doing something “different.” Apparently, this woman he would start talking about knew how to do all these things better than me. Or maybe I needed to collaborate with her because she could teach me stuff.
Then there was another guy I started to date who did the same thing.
On one evening, we were having dinner and sipping margaritas at a Mexican restaurant. All was going well until I left for the bathroom. When I came back, the guy was reading an email from his baby’s mama. Again, much like the other guy, he looked different. He had disassociated to a different time and space. He was no longer with me laughing and sipping margaritas. He was off in his subconscious fighting with his baby mama.
Of course after this event, this guy disappeared for several months and then started to blow up my phone again. He sounded lost. Distraught. I took pity on him and treated him to a fancy sushi restaurant.
Once again, all was going well. We were sipping $25 bourbon cocktails. Then suddenly he broke out into some strange monologue and started to talk about the email he got from his baby mama three months ago. “She says I’m a bad father. She says all I do is party and run after women! That’s not true!”
Although, it was entirely true. You see because here I was a “woman” now hanging out with the previous “owners” robot who needed some serious reprograming.
It didn’t matter that we were in the present moment eating overpriced sushi at a 5 star restaurant. It didn’t matter that he had thrown down four $25 bourbon cocktails that I paid for. And of course it was perfectly clear to me that “I” did not matter in his world.
The GroundHog Day Phenomenon in Dating
Yes. This “timetravel” phenomenon happened again. Only this time the guy was an anesthesiologist. Unfortunately, I wasted much of my personal time “texting” this guy. Thankfully, it only lasted 72 hrs before I blocked him. He would send me several voice messages, rants about how lonely and unhappy he was. How he was married for 28 years and his wife ( who never worked) took him to the cleaners. On and on he ranted as if I was some kind of AI Chat bot.
Then I started to wonder: “Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m stuck in some type of weird dating loop kinda like Bill Murray’s character Phil in Ground Hog day, where the same thing keeps repeating until Phil starts to learn his “lesson” and do something “different.”
Until I figured this phenomenon out, sure you can say my dating life was cold. Grey. and it’s lasted about 25 years.
I’ve finally learned how to bust out of it and wake up from my looping dream.
To be continued…
notoriouslysinglegirl 
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