Would “Mrs. Ballerina Farms” Approve? #100DaysofSummer

By notoriouslysinglegirl, August 4, 2024

If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.

Katherine Hepburn

There’s been a ton of controversy over “Ballerina Farms.” People think she was thwarted from becoming a ballerina by her billionaire husband. Perhaps he opened the door for her to get better exposure? Like over eight million people watching her. Don’t think she would’ve had that many people watching her on a typical stage in a theater.

Today, as I was composing my Notoriouslysingle egg salad tartine I was thinking to myself what would “Mrs. Ballerina Farms” think about my creation ?

It’s simple. It’s quick. It’s delicious.

I don’t have a bunch of chickens laying enough eggs for an egg apron, so I just grabbed a bag of already made boiled eggs from Trader Joe’s. This saves a ton of time. Especially when you’re single and have writing deadlines. Or have multiple jobs.

I dumped the eggs in my food processor, threw in a shallot, kewpie mayonnaise, a dab of mustard, salt and pepper to taste, and of course give it a whirl.

Toast some Ezekiel bread. Shmear your egg salad. Top with red pickled onions. And sprinkle with some Trader Joe’s Chili Onion Crunch sprinkle seasoning.

Oh, so good!

Way before Ballerina Farms made her TikTok debut, I was writing a cook book that was the anthesis to her 8 million followers. It was a cook book for a single gal like me who had just spent 12 hours in a busy Pediatric hospital. And yes I took care of way more than 8 kids a day.

I think nows a good time to continue writing my cook book recipes and here’s what you need for my egg salad tartine:

– One bag of hard boiled eggs from Trader Joe’s or any super market ( you can boil the eggs yourself. It just takes too long.)

– one shallot

– Kewpie Mayo ( 1/2 cup or to your liking)

– A dollop of mustard

– Salt and pepper

Throw it all into a food processor or blender and give it a whirl until it’s a consistency you’re happy with.

– Toast a slice of Ezekiel bread

Pickled Red Onions

I once had a starving gay photographer I met at a fashion show ask if he could stay with me because he wasn’t ready to leave Palm Springs. I never have anyone stay with me. Especially strangers.

He didn’t seem like he was a serial killer, so I took pity on him and let him stay one night. I made a few jars of pickled red onions that I added on top of my homemade notoriouslysinglegirl bagels. The photographer was blown away and asked me for the recipe. I gave him a jar of the red onions to take home and one day while he was having bagels, he sent me a picture of my red onions he was loading on top of the bagel.

Oscar Wilde once said “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.”

Pickled Red Onions

– one red onion sliced thin on a mandolin

– 1/2 cup of water

-1/2 cup of vinegar ( apple cider or white)

– 1 tablespoon sugar

– 1 tablespoon salt

Place Water, vinegar, salt and sugar in a pot. Bring to a boil. Let cool. P

Place the sliced red onion into an Erewhon container you previously used so your onions look boujee. Layer with pepper corns and Trader Joes chili onion crunch sprinkle seasoning. Then pour the water vinegar mixture. Place in fringe. They should be ready in 2 hours.

Don’t forget to put a lot of love in all your food!

Enjoy!